Lea has been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks now, and is VERY interested in going to the pool as much as possible. Today I picked her up from school and told her that we could go swimming before dinner.
And so began the preparations: Clothes off, swimsuit and sunscreen on, swimsuit back off to go potty, snack, pack the towels, pack the water, get ready to leave the house, go back in for the water gun, get ready to leave the house again, go back in to look for "Mr. Dinosaur," agree to look for him later after initial search was in vain, actually get out of the house, get kickboard, pool noodle, ponder why it's called a pool "noodle," get in argument about who is going to carry the pool noodle, finally shut the garage door and get moving.
As we're walking up to the pool, Lea says, "It sounds like nobody's there." I listen and agree it sounds quiet. As we get closer, Lea says, "No noises. No kids. I don't hear any fun." Okay, what am I, chopped liver?
We walk up to the gate, and sure enough, there's a sign that says the pool is closed due to "fecal contamination." Um. Ew.
So Lea asks why the pool is closed, and I tell her "it's contaminated." Here's the rest of our conversation:
Lea: "What does contaminated mean?"
Me: "It means that it got dirty."
Lea: "How?"
Me: "Probably just by accident."
Lea: "Are they going to clean it up?"
Me: "Yes."
Lea: "How? With Clorox?"
Me: "They'll put chemicals, including chlorine, into the pool."
Lea: "What was wrong with it again?"
Me: "It was contaminated."
Lea: "What does contaminated mean?"
Me: "It means dirty."
Lea: "What does it have in it?"
Me: "Yucky stuff."
Lea: "Like what kind of yucky stuff."
Me: "I think it just got dirty by accident."
Lea: "What was that called again? What's wrong with it?"
Me: "CONTAMINATED."
Lea: "With yucky stuff?"
Me: "YES. Let's stop talking about it."
Lea: "Okay."
(pause exactly 3 seconds)
Lea: "What was that word again?"
Me: (aaaaaaahhhhhhh) "Contaminated."
Lea: "Contaminated?"
Me: "YES."
Lea: "With what?"
Me: "Yucky stuff?"
Lea: "But what kind of yucky stuff?"
Me: "Dirty stuff."
Lea: "What was that word again?"
Me: "CON. TAM. I. NATED."
Lea: "With what?"
Me: "POOP. The pool has POOP in it, okay?"
If you thought the conversation ended there, you've obviously never had children. Because that only set off a new conversation about why the poop was in the pool, how I think it got there, whether it was poop from a bird or a person, whether it was a boy or girl or baby who pooped in the pool, how they got it out, etc. Suffice it to say, I've now thought WAY more about this issue than I really want to. Because, after all, I have to get back IN that pool at some point. Ugh.
And so began the preparations: Clothes off, swimsuit and sunscreen on, swimsuit back off to go potty, snack, pack the towels, pack the water, get ready to leave the house, go back in for the water gun, get ready to leave the house again, go back in to look for "Mr. Dinosaur," agree to look for him later after initial search was in vain, actually get out of the house, get kickboard, pool noodle, ponder why it's called a pool "noodle," get in argument about who is going to carry the pool noodle, finally shut the garage door and get moving.
As we're walking up to the pool, Lea says, "It sounds like nobody's there." I listen and agree it sounds quiet. As we get closer, Lea says, "No noises. No kids. I don't hear any fun." Okay, what am I, chopped liver?
We walk up to the gate, and sure enough, there's a sign that says the pool is closed due to "fecal contamination." Um. Ew.
So Lea asks why the pool is closed, and I tell her "it's contaminated." Here's the rest of our conversation:
Lea: "What does contaminated mean?"
Me: "It means that it got dirty."
Lea: "How?"
Me: "Probably just by accident."
Lea: "Are they going to clean it up?"
Me: "Yes."
Lea: "How? With Clorox?"
Me: "They'll put chemicals, including chlorine, into the pool."
Lea: "What was wrong with it again?"
Me: "It was contaminated."
Lea: "What does contaminated mean?"
Me: "It means dirty."
Lea: "What does it have in it?"
Me: "Yucky stuff."
Lea: "Like what kind of yucky stuff."
Me: "I think it just got dirty by accident."
Lea: "What was that called again? What's wrong with it?"
Me: "CONTAMINATED."
Lea: "With yucky stuff?"
Me: "YES. Let's stop talking about it."
Lea: "Okay."
(pause exactly 3 seconds)
Lea: "What was that word again?"
Me: (aaaaaaahhhhhhh) "Contaminated."
Lea: "Contaminated?"
Me: "YES."
Lea: "With what?"
Me: "Yucky stuff?"
Lea: "But what kind of yucky stuff?"
Me: "Dirty stuff."
Lea: "What was that word again?"
Me: "CON. TAM. I. NATED."
Lea: "With what?"
Me: "POOP. The pool has POOP in it, okay?"
If you thought the conversation ended there, you've obviously never had children. Because that only set off a new conversation about why the poop was in the pool, how I think it got there, whether it was poop from a bird or a person, whether it was a boy or girl or baby who pooped in the pool, how they got it out, etc. Suffice it to say, I've now thought WAY more about this issue than I really want to. Because, after all, I have to get back IN that pool at some point. Ugh.
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